Uplifted

I've been in a really great mood today. :) I have been all day for some reason, even though I technically have no reason to be. xP

We went to Sunday dinner earlier, which was fun. :) We had pot roast with carrots and potatoes, which my grandpa cooked in their new pressure cooker. I thought my grandma was supposed to be making it, but I guess she wasn't feeling that well. :/ It was tasty, regardless of who made it, though! lol My mom seemed like she was in a better mood, which always makes me happy. I'm not too totally sure what's been going on between her and Dad, but I do know that it's been up and down recently. :/

Afterwords, we went out job hunting with Shaggy in tow. We went scrounging around the mall since we hadn't been there yet, and got a few leads. I went into Hot Topic and they said they wouldn't be hiring until June or July. :/ But, things were looking good for Spencer's, which would be an AWESOME job to have! They said they'd be looking over my application today or tomorrow, so hopefully I hear something soon! :D

While we were there I ran into Dixie - I hadn't seen her in FOREVER! But, she was looking good and she's about 20wks. pregnant with a little boy! :) I'll bet he's adorable, I've always thought she would make beautiful kids. :) Then we saw Mike's cousin Bill, whom I call Asshole. xP He didn't recognize me at first, since he hasn't seen me after losing the weight, which was kind of nice. :) I'm not trying to be vain or anything, but it is nice when you get those kind of reactions. You get told you're fat and ugly all of your life, then someone - ANYONE - says "DAYUM!" and you feel like Queen of the World. :)

Mike and I have been doing A LOT better. We finally realized that we were just taking our stress over this house on each other, and we haven't been fighting, like, AT ALL. It's been nothing but "I love you"s and snuggles. :D I love it. I hope it stays like this, at least until we finally get the hell out of here.....this house is stressful enough without us tearing each other a new asshole over nothing.

Well, enough rambling. I'm going to go take a bath and then probably hit the bed early since we have A LOT to do tomorrow. :)

<33 Zee

Worse and Worse

Well, it's only been three days since my last post, but it feels like forever. This house literally feels like how they describe solitary confinement in "Let's Go to Prison." You can't tell the difference between five minutes and forever, your eyes play tricks on you, and you go insane. I really can not take living here anymore. It has gotten to the point where I was asking my family if I could put a tent in their back yard and sleep there, just so we wouldn't have to be here anymore. My grandmother convinced me to go up to my aunt's house and ask her if we could move in, (since she has offered before - and not too long ago at that,) and she gave us an almost rude "no." We're at our wit's ends here, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. *sigh* It looks like we're just going to have to bite the bullet and continue living here. I'm crying right now just typing that, because the thought of staying in this house - even for one more night - is making me want to TDO myself. (Which, if you don't know what that means, is when you lock yourself up in the psych ward to keep from committing suicide.)

I've been trying to keep myself busy with my craft projects....but I don't have enough fabric and things to finish them, so they're all at a half-point right now where I can't really go any further. So, for the past few days we've pretty much just been sitting here staring at a wall. *shrugs*

I really hope that I can find a job soon. I've been putting in applications everywhere that I've seen them, and I'm honestly baffled that I haven't gotten ANY responses yet, not even "no"s. *sigh* It's getting really old and disheartening. I know that the economy has to do with it to some extent, but what about the places that ARE hiring? Oh well, there's not a whole lot I can do about it, right?

The only thing that's really getting me through is having Mike....if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have bothered TDO-ing myself the first time. He's been my little cheerleader, which has been so fantastic, but at the same time makes me feel bad. Who's his cheerleader? HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE!! His mom has chosen that fat, disgusting FUCK over her own son, his sister barely talks to him....so the only person left would be me....and I'm too broken right now to do anything but make it worse. He needs a cheerleader too, I'm not the only one in this predicament.

Well, enough depressing rambling - I'm going to go listen to "Beautiful Day" by Kerli and try to imagine that it really IS a beautiful day. :/

<33 Zee

Army of Love

The weekend was pretty slow, and so was the first part of the week....we didn't do a whole lot, except go out for lunch a few times, which was fun. :) Thankfully, not any MAJOR drama or anything, which is a nice change of pace from the norm.

Today, was the breaker though - and it's been drama-filled all morning. *rolls eyes* The short and skinny is my grandpa locked his keys in his car, and my grandma thought that was good enough of a reason to scream at me. *shrugs* Oh well, I just wont be talking to her for the next few days.

Anyways, enough of the crap. Last night was AMAZING though, I got to watch the LiveChat with KERLI!! :DD OMG!! GAH!! She looked so gorgeous, and she has the voice of an angel - just when she speaks! :) After watching it, she is definitely one of the most down to earth musicians I've ever seen. We asked about I-Loo, and she squealed like she was talking to her best friend - it was adorable. <3 I can't wait for the next one! She said she was hoping to have another one next month for her birthday, and I hope I can make it! :) Since I'm in the U.S. though, it probably won't be that hard for me to see it, this last one was at 6pm.

I was just listening to some other music, and it was pissing me off, so I changed it to Kerli. xP She just has great music! :DD Army of Love = the sex. <33

Well, I'm going to go check on the hubby and make sure he hasn't fallen into the soup he's making. *rolls eyes* He wouldn't NEED to make it if his mother wasn't so fucking dumb that she wanted to just reheat the roast in the same nasty ass pot and just add some veggies. *BARF* GROSS!! No wonder her cooking always tastes like shit!! xP

<33 Zee - I.L.U.

Better Day

Today has been better, at least we got that damn money. *rolls eyes* So, we're all caught up and now just hanging at the house enjoying ourselves.

Earlier, I was supposed to go up to Nana's to work - but, apparently she didn't hear me agree to it, and eventually told me to just leave. I really don't understand her logic. I come in halfway through her shift and her answer is always, "Well, if I've been here this long I might as well stay the rest of the time." Now, I can understand if I had gotten there an hour or two before she was supposed to leave, but it was halfway through a eleven hour shift! WTF! It makes NO sense.

Anywho, enough bitching about how nutters my grandma can get at times. xP

<33 Zee

Fucked Up Week

The last week has been more of a headache than anything. We've been promised money the last four days, and still haven't gotten it, and who knows when we will. Mike and I had a pretty epic fight, but everything's ok now. I really honestly believe that it's just us being in this house that's making us fight so much - when we were living on our own, even though it was in a motel, we hardly ever fought and we always had everything we needed. Now, we're in an actual house with these fucktards - and we can barely keep food in the house. *rolls eyes* And, unfortunately, most of it is due to his dumbass Mom who can't keep her head out of her boyfriend's ass long enough to see that she's getting herself into some MAJOR debt. *shakes head* Take a note people, this is what happens when you get WAY TOO DESPERATE!

Anywho, everything's going pretty good with the family. My sister's sick, and I think my grandmother might be coming down with something too, but other than that everyone's doing fine. Well, my Dad is apparently still screwing with my Mom's head - which I'm not even trying to get in the middle of. I think they just need to NOT talk to each other PERIOD for a while so they can sort their own feelings out instead of being so worried about the other's. *shrugs* But, that's just my opinion. I don't know the whole story, so I can't really say a whole lot. :/

I'm still trying to quit smoking - and it's probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do, especially since Mike is still going to. I mean, I don't want to make him go outside the room every time he wants to smoke, but him sitting beside me with it drives me INSANE sometimes. And the worst part is, I can't even grab it and take a hit or two if I get really desperate, because you're not supposed to chew the Nicorette and smoke - supposedly, it fucks up your heart. So, I just kind of have to sit there and deal with it. :/ Truth be told, it'll probably be better in the long run, because I'll be used to him sitting beside me with it, so maybe it won't bother me so much once I am done with the Nicorette.

Either way, it's been a really fucked up week and I can not wait for the weekend. I just want to sleep all day and pretend we never moved back in this shit hole. :/ But, that's why they call them DREAMS.

<33 Zee

Photos Galore!

The last two days have been relaxing days, because I messed my back up pretty bad and haven't really been able to do anything. :( I've been working on my music library a little - deleting some old crap and getting some new crap. xP

I've decided that I'm going to quit smoking, and today is the first day. It's been REALLY hard. I've only let myself have a few hits off a cigarette, and that's only every few hours. Thank god for these mints, or I probably would've gone crazy by now! lol But, so far, I think I've done pretty well. I haven't snapped on anyone or starting bing eating. lol

I uploaded a HELL of a lot of pictures onto Facebook, and then I have a few more that I'm going to take off of my camera tomorrow, but it's only like - two. A lot easier to handle than 100+. xP I've got a shot of my AWESOME ass fingernails, and then the checkbook cover I made myself earlier today. It's made from an old t-shirt that I couldn't bare to part with, but I probably was never going to wear again. It was the brown one with the Evil Monkey from Family Guy saying, "There's an Evil Monkey in My Closet!" xP It looks super cute! :)

Well, more later!

<33 Zee

Sore and Achy

Yesterday ended up being pretty nice, aside from the cold. I took Mike and Shaggy a fried chicken lunch with mashed potatoes and green beans w/potatoes. :) They were very pleased. lol We wanted to go inside of Linda's house to eat so we wouldn't have to stand/shiver and get something to drink - but the dumbass electrician locked himself out of the house! We ended up having to wait like 2hrs. for Cindy to show up and let us back inside! Thankfully, their work wasn't affected, but the electrician lost nearly half a day's work! xP When it was pay time, there was a little bit of a crisis since we specifically asked for cash and she wrote us a check. But, we managed to get it cashed and everything was cool. :)

Shaggy ended up hanging out with us for a few hours before he went home, and I think I went to bed RIGHT after he left.....it was right at 9:00p or just a little while afterwards. My back was so sore I could barely sit there til then! I can't believe Mike stayed up so late with the way his shoulder was killing him!! :/

Today's been really boring. We're both too sore to really do anything, so we haven't even left the house, or gotten dressed. xP I've been surfing around the internet and listening to music, just trying to waste some time. *shrugs* There's really nothing else to do today.

Anyways, more later.

<33 Zee

Snow and Nails

Today has been pretty blah so far. I had to take my grandmother to work as usual, then Mike's friend came over to go to work with him. So, now I'm sitting here by myself doing my nails. Which, is kind of nice though. I'm doing standard MoonChild nails (clear with three white dots down the center.)

Later should be a little interesting though - it's supposed to start snowing here in about 30min, and I'm going to have to go driving in it to bring them their lunch! xP I don't mind bringing their lunch, but I do mind the icy roads! Oh well, I'll be fine - I'm always a careful driver.

I'm a little pissed off though, because yesterday I made a new background, and went to post it on this forum I frequent - in the "Photos" section, right? WRONG! Apparently, you can't post pictures in the Photos board....you have to post them in Overall. ?!?!? WTF kind of sense does that make? NONE! *rolls eyes* They need to learn how to run a forum a little better, or at least post some ACTUAL rules instead of just "be nice and have a good time." *shrugs*

Anywho, the polish remover should have dried by now, so time to get painting!! xP BTW, me doing this has NOTHING to do with my avoiding going downstairs and eating that FAT FUCK's nasty ass food. XD Or maybe it does! ;)

<33 Zee

Introduction

Hello there! My name is Zacharee Caine, but I prefer Zee. I'm 21, female, married, no children, bisexual, average (body type,) sarcastic, bipolar, a smoker - and did I mention brutally honest? My husband's name is Mike (20yo,) and we live together with a few roommates (currently.) I have a BEAUTIFUL cat named Gabriel, though she goes by Momo or just Kitty. :) She's tabby/tortoise shell - dk/lt grey stripes with some white and LOTS of peach spots. I have a lot of interests and hobbies - it would literally take hours to sit here and write them all down. I'm very opinionated, and have no problem saying EXACTLY what's on my mind. But, that doesn't mean I'm a bitch! I may come across as one, but you'll realize that 100% of my humor is sarcastic, and underneath I'm actually a very nurturing person and a great listener. I love to laugh and have a good time, but I'm not a "wild child," per se. I'm very open, so if you have any questions you'd like to ask me - feel free! :)

<33 Zee