Internet-less

Ugh, FINALLY the internet is back on. I can finally stop listening to Mike complain about not being able to play his computer games. xP

Anyways, the house has calmed down quite a bit. There really hasn't been any fighting, but Frank is still finding little ways to be an asshole. It took him TWO DAYS to finally replace a socket (which, Mike had to pretty much yell at Beth to get that to happen,) and while he was in here he decided he was going to try to insult me. *rolls eyes* Yeah, like you're even CLOSE to being on my level. First, I didn't hear exactly what he said, but Mike said he was pretty much calling me old - so I said, "Yeah, I'm half his age - if not LESS." About 10min. later (oh yeah, took him over half an hour to do it because he's too fucking cool to kill the circut before doing electrical work - he'd rather play operation. AND he got shocked! xPP) he says the reason it was shorting was from me walking across the floor. UHM, so you're calling me old AND fat? What room does he have to talk, he looks like he's twelve months pregnant - WITH TRIPLETS! He's GOT to weigh AT LEAST 350lbs. WTF? I'm HALF THAT! *rolls eyes* He's just upset that his "fiancee" isn't NEARLY as cute as me. :DD (if you haven't seen her, she looks like a 12yo boy with grandpa's face! xP)

Anyways, Mike told him where to shove it and he left without another word. And besides his "sly" little quips, he doesn't say anything to me. I straight up called him a bitch not too long ago, and him AND Beth just sat there silent and never said a word. It's pretty bad that you're scared of a GIRL, who's HALF your weight. Pathetic, nasty fuck. *rolls eyes*

Sorry, I've been watching Bad Girls Club for the last few hours, so I'm feeling a little catty. xP A new episode comes on tonight, and I can never stop myself from watching the reruns before the new one comes on. :D It's just so funny to watch them fight over NOTHING! xP I was only halfway paying attention this week because I was (FOR ONCE) painting my (red) nails and (pink pearl) toenails. Mike sounded pretty excited about the color combination. xP

Our hamsters have been doing good, but Twitch (one of Mike's,) is still biting. And she is SOOO fucking annoying when she drinks - she BITES the ball on the bottle! WTF! How can two SISTER hamsters that live IN THE SAME CAGE be SOOO different? Tweak is a dream! You can pick her up without gloves at all now! At least mine (Pixie) hasn't ever bitten, but she's still VERY skittish about being touched/picked up. We still have to corner her and force her onto her flying saucer to pick her up. But, once we get her in our hands she just sits there - I don't get it.

Oh well - they'll get more comfortable with us. Anywho, new BGC in half an hour and I've still got to put up all of my nail stuff before I settle down to actually WATCH it. xP

<33 Zee

The House Tornado

Nothing has changed really, still in the same house with the same people dealing with the same situation. I've been job hunting like crazy the last few days, but I really haven't come up with anything too promising. I went ahead and filled out an application to work at HSN again, but I don't know A) how long it's going to take to get a response (last time it was a few months,) and B) whether me working there before (and why I left) will cause me not to get the job. :/ So, I'm still kind of at a loss.

Today itself has been quite the interesting day....after Mike went to work, he gave me a call while he was one his smoke break. I don't know if it was him calling or what, but on the first ring all of the power to the electronics died. The lights and the ceiling fan were still on, but the computers, TV and cable box were OUT, and they were NOT turning back on. The whole house (Beth, Frank, Sis and Chris) were down in the basement trying to figure out which breaker was acting up, but none of them were doing anything. So, we were about to give up - I was back in my room and they were downstairs checking plugs, and I just flipped on the lights and EVERYTHING CAME BACK ON! WTF?!?!? *rolls eyes* Old ass house. xP

During the process of trying to get it to work, Sis and Chris starting fighting...BADLY. He even told Frank that he was so mad at Sis that he was about to slap her - and THAT did it. Currently, he is in the process of packing his shit and moving out, because Beth is kicking him out. Sis said she wanted him out, but she's said that before and nothing ever became of it. This time, since he threatened to hurt Sis, Beth isn't taking any shit from anyone and making him leave - and she said if Sis ever got back with him (whether he TRIED to move back in or not,) she would kick her out too. So, I'm thinking that this is the SERIOUS SERIOUS end to their relationship. It's kind of a double-edged sword.....Chris was a really cool guy to hang around, but unfortunately he was more lazy and aggressive than anything. He would pick a fight with Sis or Beth over NOTHING!! The fight today started over who was going to walk up the stairs and ask me to check the power!

Aaand the power to the electronics just went out again. Thank god my laptop has a battery. xP So, I'm sitting here in the dark hoping if I leave the lights off long enough, everything will trip back on again. *shrugs* I have no idea how electrical wiring works. LOL

Anyways, some serious shit is going down today - so I'm just hiding in my room waiting for it to dissipate. I'm not sure, but I think Chris just left - either with the first load of his shit or for good. To be honest, it was time for him to go anyways. Him and Sis weren't even a couple anymore - they didn't share ANYTHING (not even cigs,) they fought CONSTANTLY, Sis told me more than once she was "done" with him, and the other night he left to go somewhere and she was downstairs on the computer praising god that he finally left the house so she could get away from him. If you don't like the dude, why would you let him live with you? Yeah, he was a cool guy, but once the relationship is over, it's OVER. There's really no mending it past a certain point.

Anyways, I'm going to go back to my rat research and hope no one tries to blame all of this on me (since it started with trying to get my power back on.) :/ Wish me luck?

<33 Zee

Depressive Babbling That No One Cares About

Today has probably been one of the worst days of my entire life...and I don't know if I can recover from it. I'm just so damn down and depressed I almost looked up a suicide hotline number, but I figured they wouldn't want to listen to my stupid ass anyways....who would? I tried to call several members of my family, but they all ignored me (literally pressing the "ignore" button.) I just can't fucking take it....especially since this is all over something so dumb as missng a dentist's appt. My ENTIRE FAMILY is angry with and ignoring me over A FUCKING DENTIST APPT. How ridiculous! Especially since I TRIED to go....I drove around for over 45min. and couldn't FIND the fucking place! I ended up almost 10mi. passed one turn, wasted all of my gas, and almost couldn't even take Mike to work, but that doesn't matter. ALL that matters, is that my grandmother is "embarrased" and "would have a hard time ever showing [her] face there again." REALLY?!?!?!? *sigh*

And Mike's mad at me too....over something even more stupid....A BEER. He barely even looked at me before he got out of the car and just slammed the door in my face. He normally calls me several times just to chat, but he purposely left his cell phone home so I couldn't call him, and he wouldn't have to call me until he was ready to leave. So, I'm just his fucking chauffer. That's all I ever am to anyone....chauffer, errand bitch, pack mule....whatever suits their needs at the moment. I need other people's help to, but at least I always thank them and show a little appreciation for what they did for me....even my grandmother wouldn't be able to deny that with a clear concious.

The saddest part? I'm writing this because no one, literally NO ONE wants to even hear me say "hello," much less anything else. So, what's the point of me being around? Why do I sit here and torture myself with a family that doesn't even appear to like me?

The reason I'm still here? Because I'm too much of a fucking coward to kill myself.

Not Much Different

Not really a whole lot has changed since my last post. I'm still dealing with that tweaked nerve, which is driving me insane. I can't sleep because I have to hold extremely cold drink in my mouth to make the pain stop, the only time I do is when I'm so tired I pass out - which is usually when I'm sitting up, holding my drink. >< Mike's been loving that. But, everything else is generally the same. I helped mom move into her new house this weekend, but we've still got some more stuff to do. Renee's having some problems, but I'd rather not talk about them until things are settled. The hamsters are doing great - Mike's have calmed down A LOT since he's started working with them, but Pixie is still really skittish. :/ It's just going to take some time, I guess.

Well, I'm going to go take some more pain pills and try to work in a nap since Mike's already gone to work.

<33 Zee

On the mend

I'm still pretty sick, but I'm starting to do better. I finally slept last night after DAYS. I went back to the doctor three days ago, and he gave me a cycle of steroids and some nerve pain killers - apparently, the ear infection got so bad that it tweaked a facial nerve, which is why I've been in so much pain. :/ yay. The pain's starting to fade a little, but I'm really worried about the nerve - I've never dealt with anything like this, and I have no idea what to expect. Everyone keeps telling me to go online and read about it, but, honestly, I'm too afraid to do it. I'll start reading some of the worst-case-scenario stuff and start having a panic attack - which, I'm sure wouldn't be too good for me to do right now.

But, on a lighter side, the steroids/pain killers have been making me do some HILARIOUS shit. Last night, I kept falling asleep sitting up - with my drink in my hand! One time I woke up looking for my drink, and found it in the bed, with drink/ice still in it! Another time I jumped out of bed, frantically searching for my drink while half asleep, and it was behind the bed on the windowsill. I kept talking about crazy shit....the other night I started yelling at Mike for no reason - while he was giving me a massage to help me sleep! xP This is why I hate taking steroids, but he's been having a good ol' time laughing at me. lol

Mike got a new job at Buffalo Wild Wings, and he seems to be really enjoying it. I'm not particularly liking the fact that he doesn't get off til after midnight some nights, but it's better than getting up at 4am and driving for over an hour. xP This job's only 5min. away! :D So, everything's slowly but surely falling into place, so we may be moving out a lot sooner than I thought! (but, still not as soon as I'd hoped for. xP)

The hamster's are doing great, BTW. They seem to be settling into their new homes nicely, and even letting us pet/hold them. :) Mike's Russian ones, Twitch and Tweak are still biting a little, but not nearly as bad as the first week. :) Pixie is still REALLY skittish, so petting her is hard, but when I scoop her into my hand she is actually pretty calm. She's starting to nip at my fingers a little, but I think it's just more curiosity than anything - it's no where near hard enough to break the skin. I've been bitten by an old friend's hamster before - when they bite, they mean it - blood was dripping to the floor.

Anywho, I'm going to clean up a little bit and then I'm getting the car back from my grandmother. She was supposed to give it back to me this morning, but since I hadn't slept in so long, when I finally did, I was too zonked out to even hear the alarm. :/ It made me feel bad to waste her time, but she was just happy that I finally got some sleep. xP

<33 Zee