Today has probably been one of the worst days of my entire life...and I don't know if I can recover from it. I'm just so damn down and depressed I almost looked up a suicide hotline number, but I figured they wouldn't want to listen to my stupid ass anyways....who would? I tried to call several members of my family, but they all ignored me (literally pressing the "ignore" button.) I just can't fucking take it....especially since this is all over something so dumb as missng a dentist's appt. My ENTIRE FAMILY is angry with and ignoring me over A FUCKING DENTIST APPT. How ridiculous! Especially since I TRIED to go....I drove around for over 45min. and couldn't FIND the fucking place! I ended up almost 10mi. passed one turn, wasted all of my gas, and almost couldn't even take Mike to work, but that doesn't matter. ALL that matters, is that my grandmother is "embarrased" and "would have a hard time ever showing [her] face there again." REALLY?!?!?!? *sigh*
And Mike's mad at me too....over something even more stupid....A BEER. He barely even looked at me before he got out of the car and just slammed the door in my face. He normally calls me several times just to chat, but he purposely left his cell phone home so I couldn't call him, and he wouldn't have to call me until he was ready to leave. So, I'm just his fucking chauffer. That's all I ever am to anyone....chauffer, errand bitch, pack mule....whatever suits their needs at the moment. I need other people's help to, but at least I always thank them and show a little appreciation for what they did for me....even my grandmother wouldn't be able to deny that with a clear concious.
The saddest part? I'm writing this because no one, literally NO ONE wants to even hear me say "hello," much less anything else. So, what's the point of me being around? Why do I sit here and torture myself with a family that doesn't even appear to like me?
The reason I'm still here? Because I'm too much of a fucking coward to kill myself.
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